Take a chill pill

There's a little pill I take each day. It's small and pink and smooth. I bite it in half because a whole one would knock me out. Knock me down. Down and out.

This pill calms me. It breaks down and adds chemicals to my brain that I do not have anymore for some reason. My head decompresses. The pressure exits. It allows me to think again. It allows me to not worry about politics. The war. World hunger. World peace. My life seems in order now. My eyes are focused.

I take care of one thing at a time now. My baby girl needs her diaper changed. I change it. I get hungry. I get something to eat. I need to exercise. I go running.

Life is much easier now. Easier to deal with. Easier to manage. I'm medicated. I'm part of a statistic. Our numbers are growing.

After my father died of a massive heart attack I went into a real funk. I cried all the time. Not just in bed by myself, but at the drop of a hat. I was in the Army back then. I found myself crying while I was sweeping the floor. While on guard duty. This is not something a grown man should experience.

I talked to my family and they told me maybe I should talk to a professional. Turns out some of my family members were experiencing the same issues. My father was our rock and we all went to him with our problems. Now there was no sounding board for us. We all became bottled up emotionally.

I dismissed it at first. I researched it and read about all of the side effects that are possible on the different medications. But then one day I was coming back from P.T. with my squad in the shift van and I started crying for some reason. I didn't know why. I wasn't upset. It was a very odd moment. Others noticed even though I tried to hide it.

My life changed that day. Soldiers are strong. Soldiers kill with no mercy. They don't cry for no reason. They don't cry around others. This isn't something that was acceptable to me or to the U.S. Army.

I went to the doctor and told him my symptoms. I was started on the first of several different types of antidepressants that I have taken over the last few years. The symptoms subsided. I got out of the funk. I was able to focus back on the issues right in front of me instead of on the past. A diaper needs to be changed I change it. When I get hungry I eat.

Medications are definitely not for everyone. You can abuse them. You can use them as crutches. But I do not cry anymore. I take care of my problems. One by one. And I make solutions. One by one. I do not look for wars that do not need to be fought. I do not start problems that are really not there. The world might be a little better if more of us were medicated. One by one.